How doctors can foster a healthy dialogue with their patients
In a recent appointment with my doctor, we were discussing my medication options. The thing is, it felt less like a discussion and more of a Q&A. My question was how I was going to manage my health and his answer was going to be the final decision. I didn't feel like we were collaborating on my treatment plan, and this left me feeling frustrated and disempowered.
I sat there as he delivered his medical recommendation, and those familiar feelings of helplessness and not being in control washed over me. I wanted to cry.
I had been struggling in those weeks leading up to our appointment and those emotions were still raw. My eyes did well up with some tears, but I thought back to the last research study I managed and what I said to our study participants, all of whom were battling chronic illness. I said, "You know your body in ways that no clinician can. You can speak up for yourself and advocate for yourself as a patient. Use your voice."
I couldn't be a hypocrite, so I followed my own advice. I told my doctor, "I'm not feeling empowered right now. What can I do to be an empowered patient?"
He looked confused for a moment. I could tell this question hadn't come up for him in his other appointments. His other "patient Q&As."
Automatically, I felt relieved. I voiced my feelings and that disrupted this out-of-control feeling. My doctor, somewhat stumped, considered the question with thoughtfulness, and that made me feel heard.
He cited the known research on some of these treatment options, but I pushed him further. "Give me homework," I said. "What can I do to educate myself on this?" With this guidance, he recommended a book written by a patient.
This didn't magically heal me or instantly elucidate the best treatment plan. That would take trial and error and confronting uncertainty. However, this conversation with my doctor did give me a moment of relief. I could relax for a moment, feeling reassured that he and I got on the same page.
Biology and, by extension, medicine are messy. Rarely is there a single right answer. And when there is, it has to be chosen together by both the patient and the clinician.
I was reminded of this experience recently while listening to this 5 minute segment on the Hidden Brain podcast. It's about Julia Minson's conversation with her mother's oncologist, as they explored treatment plans. In just 5 minutes, Julia's story conveys both nuance and hope. It presents a clear example to both patients and clinicians how we can respectfully address each other, and it exemplifies how doctors and patients don't necessarily have to agree on every decision to work effectively together.
Which experiences did the podcast bring up for you? How will you show up to your future appointments? If you're a patient, what will you tell your clinician to make them cognizant of your feelings? If you're a clinician, how are you prepared to empower your patients? (It may require some outside-the-box thinking!) A final question, or perhaps a challenge, for both clinicians and patients: Have you ever agreed to disagree with each other and still felt good about your dynamic after?
If you're like me and listen to your podcasts on Spotify, here's the link to that segment as its original post on the podcast, My Unsung Hero.
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